Sigma of Failure and Mistakes
From a young age, many of us are taught to avoid failure and mistakes at all costs. Grades, awards, performances and accolades often define success and are cheered on. This can lead to a belief that mistakes are something to be ashamed of or worse punished for. This stigma can create a fear of taking chances, trying new things, God forbid failing which stifles our creativity and potential.
With clients as I did in the classroom, I challenge folks to get messy and make mistakes. Take that chance. If it all goes wrong then what can we learn or grow from this experience.
It always saddens me to find people who are so afraid of failure or beat down that they just can’t even imagine making a mistake. They are stuck in their perfection and refuse to take risks or chances. In the classroom, it was fun to reward mistakes and help students learn. As a coach, it is so rewarding to see people break out and do something that they never thought they could. I love celebrating with them.
Remember Thomas Edison said, "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." Read that again and notice the positive reframe and mindset this took. Failure is not permanent end of our journey, it’s a step along the journey.
Ms. Frizzles Lessons on Mistakes & Failures
These lessons are things we can use in our adult lives at work and in our personal life. We are never too old to take chances, make mistakes and get messy!
- Challenge convention and what “we always do.”
- Test your ideas and theories
- Be a problem solver
- Accept what went wrong
- Be accountable for mistakes
- Work collaboratively with peers to find solutions
- Try new ideas and alternative to solve the problem
- It grows your brain’s neural pathways
- It grows our resilience
Learning from Failure & Mistakes
Each mistake and failure have the capacity to teach us something. We can harness the lessons learned to grow and try again. There is great value in the steps below:
1. Reflect: Take time to reflect on what went wrong and what went well. Was it a lack of time, understanding, resources, mindset, support, preparation, misjudgment, or external circumstances? Understanding the root cause is helpful.
2. Accept & Be Accountable: Accept that it was a mistake. Life happens, remember Thomas Edison’s 10,000 failures. Acknowledge and own what part of it was yours to own of this mistake or failure. Please don’t own it all if it wasn’t 100% all yours to own.
3. Adapt: Use your insights to adjust your approach. Whether it’s a project at work or a personal goal, tweaking your strategy based on past experiences leads to better outcomes.
4. Develop a Growth Mindset: Embrace the belief that abilities can be developed. Failure is an objective thought of, “That didn’t work.” It’s not personalized nor embodied, “I suck because I make so many mistakes.” This perspective can transform failures into stepping stones for future success.
5. Seek Feedback: Don’t hesitate to ask for perspectives from others. Feedback can provide valuable insights and help you see your mistakes from different angles. Ask: What went well? What was tricky? How might could I do this differently?
6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Everyone makes mistakes; it’s a part of being human. Treat yourself with the same understanding you would offer a friend. Please don’t self-flagellate and degrade yourself. If you need to have a private pity party and good cry do so. I do for a bit. Then please look to taking chances, making mistakes and getting messy again. Failure and mistakes can feel really horrible however, the feelings are not permanent. Check out how to here: Simple Tips for Self-Compassion
7. Practice Mindfulness: Engaging in mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, can help process emotions associated with failure and mistakes. Mindfulness can also help and a more balanced perspective.Note - failure is not the opposite of success; it’s a part of it. Each mistake is an opportunity for reflection, growth, and resilience. If we change our mindset about mistakes and failures, we then can be open new opportunities, deeper understanding, and build resilience. We are better able to bounce back.
I encourage you to take chances, make mistakes and get messy. Embrace the next mistake or failure as an opportunity to learn from it, and let it propel you toward your next adventure.
If you or someone you know would like support dealing with mistakes, taking chances, building resilience, career development, change, or has been knocked down reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to find courage and live boldly.
Latest Client Wins: “Thank you, I am doing so much better and have put into place the actions we discussed.” “Wow, I am so much less stressed and my home life has even improved.”, “I’m getting the interviews after I updated my resume.”
I have space for 1 additional client in October. If you or someone you know would like support in your career, taking action, setting priorities, becoming resilient or bouncing back, please contact me. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be of support.
Follow me on social media for insightful contemplation prompts, tips, and motivational quotes.
Peace, and blessings,
Teresa -Embracing – Taking Changes, Making Mistakes and Getting Messy!
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down by life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com
Author of:
· Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again
· The First Days: Coping with Life after Loss (updated 2nd edition)
· Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights, and wisdom from Austin area coaches
· My Journey as a Widow: A Widow’s First Journal