I can say from personal experience, yes you can live, love, and laugh during grief. What does it look like? It is different. It’s not inappropriate. So what is it??
Live - Some of the living might not be much initially in the middle of a gut shredding loss. It might be I got up and I’m breathing. Maybe I took a shower and got dressed. It might be I talked to someone today. I went to work. Life becomes simpler and more functional during grief as you live in the fog just trying to get by. You may have some enlightenment of how precious living is and really want to live big.
Love – Love is a tricky topic. Loving can be hard on an ordinary day. During grief, divorce, or loss it can be even more challenging. However, if you stop and think about the positive relationships you have in your life I bet you can find something or someone to love – even in the middle of grief. Loss and grief can bring you together with others that want to love on you during your loss. Let them. It will bless them and you. I’ve experienced profound love during some of the darkest grief and loss moments from the most unexpected people.
Laugh – Oh, how can laughter during grief be possible? Yes, in fact we use laughter as a coping or protection tool. It is normal even though others can be taken aback by our outbursts. However, laughter, tears, anger, reflection time, and many other emotions are all normal during loss and grief. During the planning of my mother’s memorial service my siblings and I were laughing and joking quite a bit. It was a more sarcastic gallows type humor to lift the awful pain of planning your mother’s memorial service. It was healthy and healing at the same time.
So, What Does Live, Love Laugh Mean to You?
It has a special meaning and has been a foundation in my life for many years. It was how I was raised. My parents taught me to live love and laugh. Sure we had some rocky times but, the basic premise of life was live, love and laugh.
LIVE – Live life fully. Live each day as if it were your last. Carpe Diem. It may sound trite and overused however, it is so true. Have fun in life, do what you were meant to do. Live according to your values and beliefs. How do you LIVE life fully? It’s living with out regret or fear. It’s knowing when you put your head down at night that you did your best, you gave life your all, and there’s nothing left to give, say or do.
Questions for thought:
- What does living mean to you?
- How do you know you’ve lived your day fully?
- What might be holding you back? Why?
- What if you really could live like you wanted?
- What one step can you take to live more fully?
LOVE – Love like you mean it. Love like there is no tomorrow. Love because you can and it’s what humans were designed to do. With love all things are possible. I know this to be true. Love has heart health, cancer and longevity benefits.
Some questions for thought.
- Do you love deeply?
- Do you wish you loved more?
- What is stopping you from loving?
- What if love really is the answer?
- Do you love without expecting love in return? What if you did?
- What is one thing you can do to show more love to those around you?
LAUGH – That good old belly laugh. Daily laughter is good for you. Life is way too short to be serious all the time. Did you know that laughter decreases stress hormones and increases immune cells? Endorphins are also released and can relieve pain.
Laugh questions for thought:
- When was the last time you laughed really hard out loud?
- Do you laugh daily?
- What makes you laugh?
- What can you do today to share a good laugh?
Some additional thoughts on what it means to live, love, laugh. If you don’t live, love, and laugh, I think life can become a drag and monotonous. You may loose life, love, and the ability to laugh from time to time when life is challenging. When loss hits or a sudden traumatic event occurs, you may forget to live, love, and laugh. Can you live, love and laugh in the midst of grief? Yes, in fleeting bits and in the memories.
I have Live, Love, Laugh tattooed on my leg. It is part of the memorial tattoo for my late husband and a reminder to LIVE, LOVE LAUGH. Life is so short. Don’t let the world pass you bye and become a cog in the wheel. Carpe Diem and Live Love Laugh like you mean it. You just never know when the rug will be ripped out and you may have a season where living, loving and laughing is to just too painful or difficult. That season will change over time and through hard work. Just remember to Live Love Laugh….
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Are you interested in moving forward in life? If so, I’d be honored to embark on that journey together with you. I partner with those in loss, grief, and together we work toward living, loving and laughing again.
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Peace, Love, & Blessings,
Teresa Bitner - Change and Loss Coach
Bold Fulfilled Business & Life Coach –Change and Loss Specialty