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Memorial Day - Remember the Fallen & Embrace Grieving

5/26/2017

This Memorial Day please remember and honor the fallen - embrace grieving.

In honor of all of those who have served our country and paid the ultimate price and for those left behind. I dedicate this blog to you.

Memorial Day is a day to remember. Remember the fallen. Remember who’s been left behind to carry on. Memorial day is not about the three-day weekend, blowout sales, parties, and BBQs. Memorial Day is about those service men and women who gave the ultimate sacrifice, dying while serving in the military, and protecting our country and our rights.

Other Military Days of Observance

May 20 - Armed Services Day - the day to honor those who serve in our military currently. Today approximately .04% of Americans serving in active duty military.
November 11 - Veterans Day - the day to honor those who have served in our US Military. As of 2014 there were reported to be 22 million veterans in the U.S

May 5, 1868, Decoration Day, as Memorial Day, was originally called was established as a time for the nation to decorate the graves of the war dead with flowers. Memorial Day became an official federal holiday in 1971.

Take a moment to remember and thank those that served and died in their service while you enjoy your three-day weekend, got to that sale, party, or BBQ.

How to honor the fallen heroes

Fly the American Flag
- Half-staff from sunrise to noon and then full staff noon to sunset.
Volunteer and/or attend a Memorial Day ceremony, festival, fair, or concert.
Place American Flags on each grave in national cemeteries.
Observe a moment of silence.
- The National Moment of Silence occurs at 3pm local time on Memorial Day.
Visit a Memorial; find the visiting Vietnam Walls or other memorials.
Donate to veterans and military support groups. For a list see resources below.
Wear a red poppy.
- The wearing of the poppy dates to 1918 and is called The Flanders Field Memorial Poppy in honor of those who died in World War I.

I encourage you to allow and embrace the grieving process during Memorial Day. Imagine you’ve lost someone and now you’ve been called to attend a service or celebration to honor your loved one and other fallen. I can only imagine how this feels. For the grieving this can be a poignant and challenging time. Their loved one is no longer here and they are missed. Honoring them is a part of the grieving process. Embrace grieving that loss, however it may show up. The grieving process is a just that a process and it takes time. No one is ever over it, or gets better. The grief journey is deeply personal and takes it’s own path. Support those around you and allow grief to happen. However it looks. Embrace it and know its part of the journey. Check out the free resources below for information on Memorial Day and Veterans Services.

Here's to all of those who have served before us and paid that ultimate price of death while serving in our military. Here's to all of the surviving families that carry on with out their loved one.

I remember, honor and embrace you. Much peace and blessings to you.

Did you find this useful or thought provoking? Click like, share, or comment please. Perhaps someone you know could use this information, please share.

Check out my free Wheel of Grief Assessment. It can help you find out where you are on your grief journey and make that next step forward.

Are you or someone you know grieving and wonder what’s next? I partner with motivated people that have been knocked down by life changes and losses who want to become more resilient and move forward in life. It can be unnerving to wonder what do I do now? Check out Now What? ® 90 Days to a New Life Direction if you’d like support.

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Teresa Bitner - PMP, M. Ed., ACC

Resiliency, Change, and Loss Specialist
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Memorial Day & Veteran Resources

Memorial Day Specific Information, History, Ways to Honor

Information & History: http://www.usmemorialday.org/

Information & Major Events :http://militarybenefits.info/memorial-day/

USAA:https://www.usaa.com/inet/wc/ent_all_memorialday_landing_mkt?adID=VURL_memorialday

The History Channel Memorial Day: http://www.history.com/topics/holidays/memorial-day-history

Veteran, Soldier, Family and Widow Support

Coaching for Veterans - http://www.standbesidethem.org/

Pod Cast

Charities Supporting Soldiers and Their Families:
http://www.ausa.org/resources/familyprograms/resources/InternetResources/Pages/CharitiesSupportingSoldiersandtheirFamilies.aspx

Society of Military Widows: http://www.militarywidows.org/home.aspx

American Widow Project http://americanwidowproject.org/

Widows Resources: http://torninhalf.com/

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5 Steps to Moving Forward to New Normal - Plus Video and Audio Support

5/12/2017

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How does someone find a new normal after a major change in life? Why do we even want to find one? See my previous blog on this so-called new normal why you might need a new normal. Come back and find out how.

Let’s consider about moving forward after change or loss. This is the first step to building resiliency as well.

First step is to consider what you can accept about this change?

What is true?
Consider how this change has affected you and your life?
How has it rocked your previous “normal life” ?

The first step helps us get to acceptance. Acceptance means you acknowledge the change and you know life is different. You might not be happy about it but you are willing to accept it. Acceptance may take some time, it might start as a few moments of acceptance to an eventual OK, this is my reality. That’s a sign you are ready to finding a new normal.

Once you get to a place of acceptance and you can tolerate the fact that yup, this change happened and stay there for a while then you are likely ready to move forward with life and work towards that new normal.

For me, after my mother died and dad went into memory care, I was so tired and numb from the massive changes and long remote caregiving journey, that I didn’t even realize I was in for a new normal as a remote caregiver and legally responsible for my dad.

After a few months, it dawned on me wow, I’m really out of sorts, what’s up? Oh yeah, I’m dad’s caregiver, huh, yuck?

Thankfully, through my many previous life rocking changes, coaching education, training and awareness, I realized I need to define what this new reality was. I needed to speak it and plan for it. Once I wrapped my brain around this fact and was able to speak it, it became manageable and even joyous to be in a position to do this. It was not overnight, I was drowning with grief and anger - OK so NOW What? What do I do now? How can I begin to move forward? It’s all baby steps, one day at a time. Do what you can with what you have.

As a coach, I take people through a set of exercises to help them move forward.

Here are 5 Steps To Moving Forward Towards a New Normal

1. Make a list of ALL the losses that went with this change.

List them all. This is making sure you’ve actually taken time to consider ALL that you lost.

See Teresa’s September’s blog for more details

2. Take time to mourn the losses you’ve experienced from your new list.

It’s part of the process to move forward to grieve those changes and losses. In our list making there may be new losses you had not considered. Like - My person to ask cooking advice, the man who did… etc.

See Teresa’s October’s blog for how to

3. Describe what you’ve overcome before when you have experienced a life change or death of loved one.

What changes have you overcome before?
Has anything like this happened before? How did you heal (or not heal from that?)?
Think of all the changes and losses you may have already experienced – moves, graduation, births, other deaths, job, and career changes.
List them all - take your time to remember those.

4. What skills and resources can you utilize from previous changes or losses?

What did you do that was helpful?
Who might be a resource?
List them all.
Be as descriptive as you can.

5. How can you tap into those resources?

Think of all the creative ways you’ve overcome change and loss before.
- For me that’s making a plan and setting a vision for the future.
Describe all of the resources, physical, people, emotional, spiritual, etc.

6. BONUS TIP - Pick one action you will take

What resource can you use right now?
Who will you call for support, help, or just to talk to?
What one thing can you do to move forward?
Consider what control and choices do you have about this new normal.

Here is to you finding your new normal! Celebrate after you take action! It isn’t always easy and it can take time - love yourself through this process.

I’ve included some resiliency, change, and relationship resources below. Looking for some support finding that new normal or know someone who does? I partner with motivated people that have been knocked down by life changes and losses who want to become more resilient. It can be unnerving to wonder what do I do now? Check out Now What? ® 90 Days to a New Life Direction if you’d like support or contact me. Let’s all move forward in life and live with joy!

Peace, Love, & Blessings,

Teresa Bitner, PMP, M. Ed., ACC

Finding a New Normal Resources

The New Normal

Finding a New Normal

Video - 5 Tips for Surviving Change and Building Resiliency
Managing and Surviving Change

How to Find Your New Normal - Teresa’s interview for Blogtalk Radio

Teresa’s Free Resources

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Memorial Day - Remember the Fallen & Embrace Grieving

5 Steps to Moving Forward to New Normal - Plus Video and Audio Support

Teresa Bitner

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