boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Celebrating Two Milestones!!

12/17/2024

Celebrating your milestones in life is an important resilience skill as I wrote about in my last article - click to read why it matters.

ICF PCC Renewal – Professional Certified Coach!  🎉

First – I’ve renewed my International Coaching Federation (ICF) Professional Certified Coach (PCC) certification. This requires me to keep my coaching skills up to date and relevant with 40 hours of professional development. I’ve demonstrated a commitment to high ethical standards and have demonstrated, through rigorous assessment, competence in using a variety of behaviors and skills in my work with clients. So blessed to do this work. Thank you ICF and clients for trusting me as your coach.

If you or someone you know would like support building resilience, goal setting, career development, change, or has been knocked down reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to find courage and live boldly.. 

Peace, and blessings, 
Teresa – Celebrating completed PCC renewal !

Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Career, Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach 
Partnering with those who have been knocked down by life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of:
·      Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again
·      The First Days: Coping with Life after Loss (updated 2nd edition)
·      Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights, and wisdom from Austin area coaches
·      My Journey as a Widow: A Widow’s First Journal

How to Take Action: A Step-by-Step Guide to Turn Ideas into Reality

8/28/2024

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Taking the first step towards our intentions, goals, and ideas to reality. However, the chasm between thinking and doing can be insurmountable. By taking an action towards your dream and goals you build the bridge to turn them into existence. Many of my clients get stuck in their ideas, dreams, goals and seek coaching to break through and find success. It’s normal for us to get stuck and getting support is a key step for success. I get support from coaches as well to move forward when I’m stuck.

How do we move from intention to execution? Here are practical steps for taking action, getting inspired, overcoming procrastination, and making progress towards your goals, ideas and intentions. YOU CAN DO IT!

1. Set A Clear Vision
The first step is to know what we are intending for an outcome. Take a moment to envision what it is you want. Utilize your creative mind to see and feel it. The more detailed your vision of what success looks like the clearer your vision is.

Write this down or draw it.

My vision is to make progress on my next memoir – Eldercare Nightmare: Mission of Love. I’ve put it on the backburner and it’s time to get back to writing. I’m ready.

2. Write out the main Goal

Now that you have a vision it’s time to set the goal. Setting the goal that is clear, specific and has an outcome that you can define is key.

For example- I will write on Tuesdays is too vague – there is no time or page/word count defined. It’s too easy to blow it off (and I do). I will complete my blog on Tuesday between 9-10am is more specific and it’s can be blocked in my calendar.

3. Break Goal into Smaller Pieces
Large goals can be overwhelming and too daunting. So many clients have amazing goals but often feel paralyzed by their big goal. The key is to break down your big goal into smaller, bite-sized tasks that are easier to tackle. Think of the first step towards your goal. That’s the first goal. Then the next, and so on.

Example: If your goal is to write a book. A great place to start is, start determine the theme, then outlining chapters, then commit to a regular writing schedule. If you write a page weekly you’ll have 52 pages in a year. Over time, these small steps = a completed book. My overwhelming goal is to complete my 2nd memoir. I’ve realized it’s going to be a two-part book – first one Mom and eldercare/hospice focused and 2nd Dad focused and his dementia journey. Just breaking it into two books was a huge relief.

4. Set SMART Goals
I’ve set SMART goals for my entire professional life and it’s how I get things done. I’ve coached many people about utilizing SMART goals to get things done.

SMART Goals are:
•    Specific: Clearly & concise what it is you want to accomplish
•    Measurable: How can you measure progress/completion
•    Achievable: The goal is realistic and attainable
•    Relevant: Your goal aligns with your big goal and overall intentions
•    Time-bound: A deadline can create a sense of urgency and give you a when I complete this then I can move to the next goal.

Example: I want to finish my memoir by 2025 is too vague and overwhelming. I will write a chapter each month is better. I will write chapter 8 on Tuesdays between 9-11am every other week to complete chapter 8 by end of September is a SMART goal. I can measure it.

5. Create an Action Plan
Now that you have SMART goals the next step is to put them into action = action plan.
An action plan takes your goal to the next level. It’s the micro steps to accomplishing your goal. It’s important to utilize milestones and micro deadlines to keep the progress moving forward. Seeing progress helps our brain to want to make more progress.

Utilize tools like your calendar to time-block and plan. You can use spreadsheets to track your steps or project management tools. To do lists or task lists can be of support as well. Set up reminders. I use my calendar to time block, set up reminders and a writing outline for what I want to accomplish so I don’t spend time wondering what I’m going to do in my time block.

6. Take the First Step
Now you have everything planned out and detailed. Don’t stop here! You might not ever find the right mood, perfect moment, or feel 100% ready. That’s normal and move through it. Take the first step any step forward. Once you get going often you’ll find momentum to keep going.

Example: If you want to write. Determine if you’re going to write by hand in a notebook or use a digital tool. Pick it and start writing. Even if it’s just words on a page. For me it’s chapter 8. Start writing, just write. Editing can happen later. Just do something!

7. Hold Yourself Accountable and Find an Accountability Buddy
Accountability is crucial for maintaining momentum. Share your goals with a colleague, friend, join a group with similar objectives, or use apps that track your progress.

Example: Joining a writing group greatly improved my own writing, held me accountable to writing and has been super supportive to the writing process. I’ve shared this goal in this blog so I’ve put it out there. You can help hold me accountable.

8. Remain Flexible and Adaptable
Life often don’t always go as planned, and that’s normal. When life gives you, lemons make lemonade. Be prepared to adapt your action plan as needed. If you encounter obstacles, view them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than reasons to give up.
Regularly review your goals and adjust to what makes sense in this time now. Flexibility is key to staying on track without getting discouraged. Maybe it’s not now but later. Set a new time for getting it done.

9. Celebrate Your Wins
It’s critical to acknowledge your efforts and progress. Taking action takes courage, perseverance and is hard work. Celebrate your successes, big and small. When we acknowledge and celebrate we’re receiving positive reinforcement to keep us motivated and moving forward with our goals.

Example: When you reach a milestone, take a moment to acknowledge you did it! High five yourself. You can reward yourself with something you enjoy and it doesn’t have to cost money or be food. Music, dancing, taking a break, having some fun. Whatever celebration looks like to you.

Now you have a step by step guide to help you take your dreams and goals into reality. It’s the bridge between thoughts and accomplishments.

Remember, the journey begins with a single step. Do something towards your goal. Take an action no matter how small.

Do it today, and see how far you get!

Let me know how this works for you. Also, if you want to help hold me accountable to my writing – send me a note or text – I’d appreciate the support.
If you or someone you know would like support taking action, building resilience, career development, change, or has been knocked down reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to find courage and live boldly.

Latest Client Wins: “The tools you shared really helped me at work.”, “I’m better able to deal with tough conversations and conflict – thank you.”, “The prioritization and project management tools have helped my team to shine and we’re getting noticed by the executive team.”, “I worked on my boundaries and was able to stand firm when push back happened.” So proud of my clients and the hard work they do. Look at them taking action and accomplishing their goals and more!

I have a waitlist for clients. I have space for 2 additional clients in September. If you or someone you know would like support in your career, taking action, becoming resilient and bouncing back, please contact me. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be of support. 

Follow me on social media for insightful contemplation prompts, tips, and motivational quotes. 

Peace, and blessings, 
Teresa – Taking action on writing my memoir!

Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach 
Partnering with those who have been knocked down by life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of:

Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again
The First Days: Coping with Life after Loss (updated 2nd edition)
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights, and wisdom from Austin area coaches
My Journey as a Widow: A Widow’s First Journal

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Boundaries: 7 Types and Time Management

10/20/2023

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Boundary setting is really a huge part of time management. ~Jim Loehr

In my last article, I discussed healthy boundaries what are they, why set them and some tips on how to set them. Next, we’re going to dig into the 7 types of boundaries that you may want to consider setting and a few examples of each. Lastly, we'll go deeper in to the last type - Time Boundaries.

Healthy boundaries help keep you mentally fit, safe, focus on what’s important and create healthy relationships professionally and personally. As you read about the 7 types consider which one might be most important for you right now.

7 Types of Boundaries

1. Non-negotiable - must have to feel safe
a. examples: must lock and set the alarm when you leave, if you chose to use substances then …., my health requires that I do/don’t do ...

2. Mental/emotional – Relational– protect our thoughts and feelings
a. examples: Please stop yelling at the grandchildren in front of me, I’m not comfortable talking about this.

3. Physical – your personal space and body
a. examples: please keep an arm’s length of space between us, please knock before you enter the bedroom, I’m not comfortable with this kind of touch (or touching at all)

4. Sexual – your body, your consent, what you like and don’t like.
a. examples: I like when you…, I don’t kiss on the first date, I’m not comfortable sharing

5. Spiritual/Religious – what, where, how, and when or if you practice your faith or express religious beliefs
a. examples: My sabbath is at this time, I will pray to myself before my meal, I would like to celebrate this holiday in this fashion.

6. Material/Financial/Property – Your possessions and finances
a. examples: I don’t lend money to friends. I’m bringing my lunch to work today, I’m on a budget, Please, don’t borrow my books without asking first.

7. Time Boundaries – How you spend your time – is it energy giving or energy draining.
a. examples: I take the weekend off and don’t check my email and I’ll respond on Monday. I’d love to come over and I can only visit for 2 hours. Let me check my calendar first.

Which one of these above might be an area that you’d like to set a boundary?

For how to set boundaries see my previous article: https://www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com/blog/healthy-boundaries-what-why-how-to-set

Time boundaries and time management are one of the most common coaching topics clients bring into sessions. Time boundaries are tricky and in this ever “On” world we live in. It often feels like our time is NOT ours to manage. But is that true if it’s not our time then who’s is it?

My motto is: “plan your life and then work your plan.”

Having a rough plan of what you want to do and how you want to spend your time before filling up your life with activity and work can set you free. If you know what you want and how you want to spend your time then you can choose where your time goes. I understand that work is often a huge part of our life and where many hours are spent. Look for ways to plan your time at work as well. Time management and boundaries do not have to be a rigid hard plan if that feels too restraining. You can set loose or firm boundaries you get to choose.

To do begin working with your time, set aside time to consider how you spend your day now and how you’d like to spend you day. If you’re not sure where your time goes a time inventory can be helpful. A time inventory is where you log what your time in increments that make sense to you for a period of time – a week or two is a great way to determine where you’re spending your time.

After you know where you’re spending your time next, take some time to consider how you might like to spend your time and where there might be places you can change what you’re doing.

Lastly, plan your time and try it out as an experiment. You can use any tool that works for you to help manage your time. Use a calendar, paper, device, app, timers, utilize time blocking. Experiment to find the tool or tools that works for you. I have a google calendar that I use to work my plan.

I often get asked how do I do it. I’ve worked with many different types of calendars throughout my life, my time management has transformed as my life has changed. Here’s what works for me right now- I do my planning on paper and incorporate my daily tasks into a paper planner – good old Franklin Planner. This plan then gets incorporated into my google calendar as I time block out clients, blocks between clients to reflect and decompress, personal appointments, focus time and anything I want to be sure I spend my time on. My calendar has reminders so I’m reminded of my plan and intentions and don’t miss any appointments, even appointments with myself.

My wish for you is that you incorporate healthy boundaries into your life. Boundaries are a resiliency skill and can set you free. They take time to practice and get comfortable with setting and keeping. Here’s to you and your healthy boundaries. I know you can do it!!

If you or someone you know struggles with boundaries or has been knocked down, reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to work on boundaries and move forward. Don’t stay stuck!

My client waitlist is open and I will have openings in November. If you or someone you know would like to get coaching, please contact me. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be of support.

Latest client wins – Keeping boundaries with work and continuing healthy living routine! Time boundary set – working part-time while pursuing starting small business! Working on setting healthy boundaries with toxic family members. My client wins motivate and inspire me. They are ROCKING!

Follow me on social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram) for insightful questions, tips, and motivational quotes. 

Peace, and blessings,   

Teresa – Digging into my time boundaries and looking at what the future will look like for me!

PS: To learn more about setting healthy boundaries- check out by Nedra Glover Tawwab on social media. Or better yet, read her book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself.

[email protected] 
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com   

Author of:  

Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again
The First Days: Coping with Life after Loss (updated 2nd edition)
Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights and wisdom from Austin area coaches

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September's Theme - How to Succeed in Life! with Daily Inspirational Quotes, Weekly Journal Prompts & Reflections

9/3/2018

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September’s Theme – How to Succeed in Life! with daily inspirational quotes, weekly focus, journal prompts and affirmations.

For the next month, I’ll be sharing How to Succeed in Life! You may have seen my Facebook post with this useful infographic on How to Succeed in Life. I’ll be posting daily on this theme of success in social media with inspirational quotes, a weekly focus, journal prompts and affirmations. If you are not on social media or Facebook and would like to see these - keep reading or click here to sign up.

I love these 12 areas for focusing on success. They offer great reminders to us all as we move into the fall season.

Over Labor Day weekend, I’ve been focusing on Organize, What Matters Most and Take Care of Yourself – with rest, quiet time, reading, sleeping in, planning, cleaning, organizing my home and office for the fall.

I’ll be exploring Simplify, Habits, and Doing what is Difficult this month.

Doing what is Difficult for me is step one planning, scheduling and actually DOING a daily social media post on a topic I care about – a long overdue task on my todo list. Feels, great to finally execute on this task!

How about you?

Which of these areas resonate the most with you?
Are there any that you’d like to dig into for September?
Now is a great time to reflect and explore on what can help you succeed.

Weekly Focus Topics

Week 1 - Prioritize What Matters
Week 2 - Determination & Resiliency
Week 3 - Successful Habits
Week 4 - Learning from Mistakes and Failures

Not on Social Media or Facebook but interested?
Click here to signup to receive the quotes, weekly focus, and journal prompts, via email.
It's free and no pressure - just daily inspirations, quotes, focus questions, journal prompts and affirmations.

You might want to subscribe to receive these via email if...

If you are not a social media person
Would like to see these without searching Facebook
Don't want to miss out on any of the quotes or journal topics or affirmations
Would like to view them in email and save them for later

Here's to our success in September!

If you or someone you know would like support in any of these 12 areas, reach out and contact me. I can help support you in your success. I love seeing others succeed and cheering on their success!

Much peace, love and blessings,

Teresa

Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again

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Margin & Down time - How much do you schedule? Part 2 of a Series

8/28/2018

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The topic of down time and margin is part 2 of a series in a common coaching topic - time management. In part one, I asked, What if you had just the right amount of time? and a shared a 101 on time management. In this 2nd part we’ll discuss down time and margin in our schedule and how critical they are to our resiliency and well-being.

How much time do you take and make for down time?

What’s your margin in your schedule?

What do I mean by down time and margins?

Down time is just that. Time to just be, sit in nature, reflect, contemplate, do nothing with zero interruptions – no devices or things tugging at your focus. This word is from our technology revolution where machines need to be down for repair, setup, and need breaks between work. Even machines need down time.

Margin – think of a sheet of lined paper for school – it has margins all around – top, bottom, left and right. Historically this was a page break and for commentary. I like to think of margin as padding or wiggle room for my schedule from project management training. We all need some margin.

Margin, by Richard A. Swenson, M.D. states it well. ” Margin is the space between our load and our limits and is related to our reserves and resilience. It is a buffer, a leeway, a gap; the place we go to heal, to relate, to reflect, to recharge our batteries, to focus on the things that matter most. “. I learned about the importance of margins in life and often refer book to my clients. (see Resources link below)

Why do we need down time and margins?

Our brains need time to rest and recuperate
Increase productivity
Regain focus and attention
Increase creativity
Increase memory
Reduce stress
Life Happens

By having scheduled margin in our daily schedule, we can get through those life happenings with less stress. Life happens – tire blows, kids get sick, traffic – in Austin it’s bad all the time now, your friend texts a life emergency. If we have no margin in our schedule we get freaked out and then are late and behind on what feels like everything.

Having built in some margin, wiggle room, down time, nothing scheduled time, we can then deal with the tire, make arrangements for the sick kid, get to our destination without the finger, and call our friend back.

Margin allows us to ride the waves of life vs. getting blown over by the wave. - Teresa Bitner

Here’s a scenario of a marginless life:
Former hectic high-tech day - I was triple booked conference call meetings and thought it was good idea and normal to have 2 headsets - one for each ear and an instant messaging meeting going was perfectly okay. Hey, I was working from home – the vision of work life balance – right? My then 4th grader told me that was crazy and stupid mom. Ha, mom had it so together - what did he know? (a lot in hindsight)

It was not a good idea, normal or even a little okay. I was frazzled, stressed out, couldn’t focus on anything, no work getting done, late to his brother’s school performance, and then got sick.

Why did I keep on getting sick? I lived like that every day and rarely took time off, drinking my three triple extra-large mochas a day plus Diet Dr. Peppers. When I did take a break or vacation was often too sick to enjoy it. That’s not a life that’s surviving – barely. But, I really thought I had it together? I didn't know about margin and downtime.

What does down time and margin look like?

Regular down time = daily and/or weekly

Take time to start or end day in: prayer, meditation, Remembrance, quiet time
1. 5 minutes or more
Outside time – walk, walking dog, watering plants, digging in garden, swimming, tea on the porch, walk around block.
1. Nature is important and refreshes us.
2. It can be a quick 5 min break outside, breathe, look at sky and breathe again.
Exercise – great for our overall resiliency
1. Move your body.
2. It does not require a new outfit or joining a gym. No excuses
3. Walk, dance, yoga.
4. There's loads free resources on the internet if you need help starting.
A day or two off weekly.
1. Doing less and spending quiet time, relaxing, resting and relating.
2. Less social media and electronic devices
Sleep – so important for our brains to recharge
1. Get enough quality sleep for you.
2. Women tend to need more than men.
  1. Notable exception – my mother who we swore never slept – vampire? :)

Longer Downtime = Vacation

Min. of 3 days in a row to recharge
Remove electronic devices – limit use at a minimum
Fast from social media
1. Take at least 24 hours
2. It can depresses us and sucks our precious time
Get away
1. from your home at least for most of the day
2. if not entirely - even to a local B&B.
Doing something different from your normal routine
1. To gain new perspective and give brain a rest
2. Not so over scheduled you feel stressed or exhausted after the vacation.

How do you incorporate margin into your life?

Part 1 of this Series - 101 planning contains scheduling tips.
Quick reminder for Planning and Scheduling
1. Organize
2. Plan- key part plan and WRITE into your schedule
3. Control - No blowing off your down time.

You may be wondering, do I live a marginful life now? Mostly, I am human. I can tend to overschedule and find myself in freak-out frazzle no margin mode if I'm not paying attention.
I know what my values and priorities are. I very less frequently find myself in marginless mode.

When I do I re-plan and re organize. I have banned multitasking from my life – yes, really. I work to be 100% present in each moment and focus. Thankfully, I have a great spouse, family and friends who help me be accountable and check me when I start to get freaky. First sign/trigger, is the desire and feeling the need for a large triple mocha latte. I say to myself, girl - time to look at your schedule and put some downtime in there and way more margin. Your gonna freak out if not....Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

How much time do you take and make for down time?

What’s your margin in your schedule?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, comments and your own downtime and margin stories.

If you or someone you know would like support and learn more about margins, making schedules, held accountable, or time management, please reach out and contact me. I partner with those who've been knocked down my life and want to bounce back.

Much peace, love and blessings,

Teresa

Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

PS. Reminder Soul Love Book Signing Friday 8/31 7pm @ Book People. You and yours are invited! Details here. Love to see you there!

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again

Downtime and Margin Resources

Margin - Dr. Richard A. Swenson M.D.

A Minute of Margin - 180 Daily Reflections - Dr. Richard A. Swendon, M. D.
The Importance of Downtime https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalie-puiman/the-importance-of-downtime_b_6301440.html

Why your brain needs more downtime - https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/mental-downtime/

Create & Protect Margin in your schedule - https://www.seedbed.com/create-and-protect-margin-in-your-schedule/

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Celebrating Two Milestones!!

How to Take Action: A Step-by-Step Guide to Turn Ideas into Reality

Boundaries: 7 Types and Time Management

September's Theme - How to Succeed in Life! with Daily Inspirational Quotes, Weekly Journal Prompts & Reflections

Margin & Down time - How much do you schedule? Part 2 of a Series

Teresa Bitner

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