In my last article, I discussed healthy boundaries what are they, why set them and some tips on how to set them. Next, we’re going to dig into the 7 types of boundaries that you may want to consider setting and a few examples of each. Lastly, we'll go deeper in to the last type - Time Boundaries.
Healthy boundaries help keep you mentally fit, safe, focus on what’s important and create healthy relationships professionally and personally. As you read about the 7 types consider which one might be most important for you right now.
7 Types of Boundaries
1. Non-negotiable - must have to feel safe
a. examples: must lock and set the alarm when you leave, if you chose to use substances then …., my health requires that I do/don’t do ...
2. Mental/emotional – Relational– protect our thoughts and feelings
a. examples: Please stop yelling at the grandchildren in front of me, I’m not comfortable talking about this.
3. Physical – your personal space and body
a. examples: please keep an arm’s length of space between us, please knock before you enter the bedroom, I’m not comfortable with this kind of touch (or touching at all)
4. Sexual – your body, your consent, what you like and don’t like.
a. examples: I like when you…, I don’t kiss on the first date, I’m not comfortable sharing
5. Spiritual/Religious – what, where, how, and when or if you practice your faith or express religious beliefs
a. examples: My sabbath is at this time, I will pray to myself before my meal, I would like to celebrate this holiday in this fashion.
6. Material/Financial/Property – Your possessions and finances
a. examples: I don’t lend money to friends. I’m bringing my lunch to work today, I’m on a budget, Please, don’t borrow my books without asking first.
7. Time Boundaries – How you spend your time – is it energy giving or energy draining.
a. examples: I take the weekend off and don’t check my email and I’ll respond on Monday. I’d love to come over and I can only visit for 2 hours. Let me check my calendar first.
Which one of these above might be an area that you’d like to set a boundary?
For how to set boundaries see my previous article: https://www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com/blog/healthy-boundaries-what-why-how-to-set
Time boundaries and time management are one of the most common coaching topics clients bring into sessions. Time boundaries are tricky and in this ever “On” world we live in. It often feels like our time is NOT ours to manage. But is that true if it’s not our time then who’s is it?
My motto is: “plan your life and then work your plan.”
Having a rough plan of what you want to do and how you want to spend your time before filling up your life with activity and work can set you free. If you know what you want and how you want to spend your time then you can choose where your time goes. I understand that work is often a huge part of our life and where many hours are spent. Look for ways to plan your time at work as well. Time management and boundaries do not have to be a rigid hard plan if that feels too restraining. You can set loose or firm boundaries you get to choose.
To do begin working with your time, set aside time to consider how you spend your day now and how you’d like to spend you day. If you’re not sure where your time goes a time inventory can be helpful. A time inventory is where you log what your time in increments that make sense to you for a period of time – a week or two is a great way to determine where you’re spending your time.
After you know where you’re spending your time next, take some time to consider how you might like to spend your time and where there might be places you can change what you’re doing.
Lastly, plan your time and try it out as an experiment. You can use any tool that works for you to help manage your time. Use a calendar, paper, device, app, timers, utilize time blocking. Experiment to find the tool or tools that works for you. I have a google calendar that I use to work my plan.
I often get asked how do I do it. I’ve worked with many different types of calendars throughout my life, my time management has transformed as my life has changed. Here’s what works for me right now- I do my planning on paper and incorporate my daily tasks into a paper planner – good old Franklin Planner. This plan then gets incorporated into my google calendar as I time block out clients, blocks between clients to reflect and decompress, personal appointments, focus time and anything I want to be sure I spend my time on. My calendar has reminders so I’m reminded of my plan and intentions and don’t miss any appointments, even appointments with myself.
My wish for you is that you incorporate healthy boundaries into your life. Boundaries are a resiliency skill and can set you free. They take time to practice and get comfortable with setting and keeping. Here’s to you and your healthy boundaries. I know you can do it!!
If you or someone you know struggles with boundaries or has been knocked down, reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to work on boundaries and move forward. Don’t stay stuck!
My client waitlist is open and I will have openings in November. If you or someone you know would like to get coaching, please contact me. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be of support.
Latest client wins – Keeping boundaries with work and continuing healthy living routine! Time boundary set – working part-time while pursuing starting small business! Working on setting healthy boundaries with toxic family members. My client wins motivate and inspire me. They are ROCKING!
Follow me on social media (Facebook, LinkedIn, and Instagram) for insightful questions, tips, and motivational quotes.
Peace, and blessings,
Teresa – Digging into my time boundaries and looking at what the future will look like for me!
PS: To learn more about setting healthy boundaries- check out by Nedra Glover Tawwab on social media. Or better yet, read her book: Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself.
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