Limiting beliefs have power over us because we believe them and they can limit our potential. Wonder why you know what to do but just can’t quite seem to get around to it? Have you ever felt like something is holding you back, but you can't quite move past this? These could be limiting beliefs.

What is a Limiting Belief

A limiting belief is a belief, judgment, or thought that you think is the absolute truth and stops you from doing things and often prevent us from our goals. They can be thought of as false accusations and judgments. They can be subconscious and we aren’t aware we hold them. They are not facts!!

Limiting beliefs are often deeply ingrained convictions about what we think about others, ourselves, or the world around us. These limiting beliefs can suppress our thoughts, actions, and possibilities.

What do they sound like?

That nagging voice in your head that says you're not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough, have enough experience, not a good speaker/leader… = Limiting Beliefs. They may say, “No, I better not do .., I can’t, I shouldn’t, what will people think, who am I to do, I’ll never be successful, …”   

Where do they stem from?

Limiting beliefs can come from how we were raised, authority figures, life experiences, cultural conditioning, education, or negative self-talk and manifest as subconscious assumptions about what we can or cannot achieve. It is our brain’s way of protecting us from the future. Unfortunately, these can lead to fears, anxiety, imposter syndrome, or procrastination.

Here are some common types of limiting beliefs:

1  I’m not worthy of: This belief convinces you that you are not good enough to be, do or have something. It can rob you of happiness, joy, contentment and joy. This one can undermine your self-esteem and lead to being OK with less.
 
2  I'm not capable or good enough: This belief convinces you that you are not good enough It says you are not capable, lacking in talent, skills, intelligence, to pursue your goals and desires. This is common and leads to lower levels of confidence and discourages us from taking risks, moving outside our comfort zone, and trying new things.
 
3  I'm not likeable or lovable: This belief convinces you that you are inherently not likeable, unlovable or unworthy of friends, community, love and affection. It thrives by creating insecurity in ourselves that leads to potentially disengaging or sabotaging relationships and connections with others.
 
4  I'm not deserving or I’m unlucky: This belief convinces you that you don’t deserve good things or blessings and that you won’t be successful or fortunate. You see this as happening only to other people. you'll never be fortunate. It fosters a sense of resignation and can prevent you from pursuing your dreams with confidence and hope.
 
Do any of these resonate?
 
In my own examination of my limiting beliefs, I find that it can be triggering and uncomfortable to look at them. This can be tough work to examine your limiting beliefs. Be kind, considerate and compassionate to yourself as you do this. We all have them and it’s normal.
 
How to recognize common limiting beliefs
 
1. Awareness - The first step to recognize limiting beliefs is to become aware of them. 


2. Reflection - Set aside some time for reflection and introspection. A reflective questions to get you started. Follow me on social media for more on Saturdays.

• What is the biggest thing you believe about yourself that is holding you back?
  
  

3. Be mindful of negative self-talk: What is your mind saying to you? What sort of language do you use when you talk to yourself? Pay attention to the language you use when talking to yourself. Are your thoughts unkind, critical, judgmental, self-flagellating, or self-deprecating? Not helpful Are they supportive, kind, and uplifting? – Helpful.   

4. Comparison: Be mindful of comparing yourself to others and then feeling less than or inadequate. Comparison can fuel feelings of inferiority and reinforce limiting beliefs. How does social media make you feel? Where else might you compare yourself – work, family, friends, with others? 

5. Fear of failure or rejection: Do you fear failure, not meeting expectations or rejection? Be mindful if you regularly say no to or avoid taking risks or pursuing opportunities because you're afraid of failing or being rejected. 

6. Self-sabotage: Take some time to reflect for any self-sabotaging behavior. Do you procrastinate, are you a perfectionist? These are forms of self-sabotage. Do you have other ways you self-sabotage your success or happiness?Ouch, these can be really uncomfortable to look at and see in ourselves AND once you are aware then you can move forward and break them!

Now that you know what a limiting belief is, where it may have stemmed from, and common types. You are now ready to take time to recognize your unique limiting beliefs. Remember, we all have them and we get to choose to work through them so they don’t rule our lives. Once we are aware of them now, we begin to challenge and reframe them.

In my next article we will dig deeper into how to work through limiting beliefs.

Reflective questions to get you started on reframing them.

1. What is the limiting belief you have? See your reflection question answer from above or pick a new one
   
   
2. What’s the cost of this belief? Is there any payoff/benefit to this belief?
   
   
3. Who would you be if you didn’t believe this about yourself?
   
   
4. What do you choose to believe instead? How might you positively reframe this?
   
   
5. Acknowledge and celebrate you took the time to recognize a limiting belief!! This is internal work!! It’s self-care! It’s a resiliency building skill.

While you’re examining limiting beliefs take radical good care of you. Practice self-compassion toward yourself and know that you are cultivating a growth mindset.

You are resilient and building resiliency skill when you recognize and work to dismantle limiting beliefs. When we’re aware of the negative narratives that hold us back we can begin to challenging and reframe them. This can remove our limits and support our positive forward movement into living our lives fully, intention and purpose.
 
Remember:

YOU ARE WORTHY
 
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH

YOU ARE WORTH LOVE

YOU ARE DESERVING
 
I encourage you to reflect and then challenge your limiting beliefs. Work to let them go! God/Spirit/Universe made you a wonderful unique being that matters! The world needs YOU!
 
If you or someone you know would like support with limiting beliefs, career change, professional development, or has been knocked down reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to break free of limiting beliefs and reach your goals and intentions.
 
Latest client wins – I found balance at work, I am able to advocate for my team and myself at work – thank you!, feeling less anxious and angry so much so my family has noticed and we’re having more fun together! -Whoo hoo! Celebrating their wins! Grateful I get to do this work and see the fruit of their work.  Did you see those limiting beliefs getting broken?
 
I have space for 1 client in May & June. If you or someone you know would like support in your career, limiting beliefs, bouncing back, please contact me. Let’s have a conversation to see how I can be of support.
 
 
Follow me on social media for insightful questions, tips, and motivational quotes.

 
Peace, and blessings,

Teresa – Examining my limiting beliefs- despite the discomfort.
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach

Partnering with those who have been knocked down by life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com 
 
Author of:

• Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again
• The First Days: Coping with Life after Loss (updated 2nd edition)
• Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights, and wisdom from Austin area coaches
• My Journey as a Widow: A Widow’s First Journal

One way to practice self-care is to practice self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is understanding and recognizing your abilities and limitations. Accepting your flaws, weaknesses, and all of the things you might not like about yourself AND - NOT allowing them to define you and keep you stuck is self-acceptance and demonstrates resiliency.
 
Russell Grieger says it well, ““You accept that, as a fallible human being, you are less than perfect. You will often perform well, but you will also err at times… You always and unconditionally accept yourself without judgment”
 
Another way to view self-care and self-acceptance is self-respect. Give yourself the same respect you give others.
 
We aren’t always taught how to give ourselves self-acceptance or self-love. You can learn to take steps and rewire your brain for more self-acceptance.
 
Tips for Self-acceptance

1. Check in to see how and what are you feeling.
2. Acknowledge your feelings without judgement
   1. It’s unreasonable to expect yourself to be happy and positive all the time. We all have good days and not so great days, maybe even weeks. It’s part of our human experience.
3. Accept your feelings – feelings just are – they are not good are bad – they are what makes us human.
4. Take some time for yourself
   1. Even 5 min in the bathroom
5. While taking your quiet moment – leave the devices behind so you’re not mindlessly taking quiet time.
6. Take some time for deep breathing, doing a quick body scan, mindfulness, meditation, or prayer.
7. Ask yourself what is the story I’m telling myself?
   1. We often have negative self-talk and self flagellate.
8. What is the origin of this story?
9. How is this story helping me or serving me?
10. Is there anything I want to forgive, stop blaming or judging myself for?
    1. We all have mistakes and regrets – don’t let them define you!
    2. Stop holding grudges against yourself – ouch.
11. What story do I want to tell instead?
    1. This is a means of positive reframe for that negative self-talk
12. Check on the 7 types of self-care
    1. Is there one area that needs a little tender loving care for self-acceptance
    2. Lean into it and take one action today.

 
Self-acceptance is a journey. Keep working towards it. Notice when you start that negative self-talk barrage. Utilize the STOP technique to stop it and rewrite your self-talk.
 
Make a promise to yourself to accept yourself the way you are and work towards challenging negative thoughts and beliefs.
 
What does self-acceptance look, feel and sound like to you? How can you give yourself more self-acceptance today, tomorrow and in the coming year? I’d love to hear what how self-acceptance works for you?
 
If you or someone you know would like support in life or business with putting self-acceptance and removing negative self-talk in to action or building resiliency, please reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to explore your life and business. I love when my clients share their wins and seeing them embrace their lives while living boldly!
 
Teresa – Mindfully continuing to work on self-acceptance
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
 
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com
 
Author of:

•    Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again 
  
• The First Days Widow Journey 
  
• Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights and wisdom from Austin area coaches

Self-care is an essential quality for building your resilience skills. Taking good care of you isn’t selfish, it’s critical to your well-being. Self-care is when you take care of you without the intention of taking from or harming others. Selfishness is taking from others often to their detriment. When you take good care of you then you can take good care of others. The WHO (World Health Organization) defines it as the ability of person to maintain health, prevent disease and cope with illness or disability without the support of a healthcare provider. That’s being resilient!
 
Why self-care important for everyone? Many benefits …

• Improves confidence
• Reduces stress
• Build self-esteem
• Prevents burnout
• Leads to work life balance
• Improves physical health
• Increase positive energy
• Reduce anxiety & depression
• Improve overall well-being and happiness
• Improve chronic illness management
• Improves relationships
• May provide health prevention for future disease (from the American Heart Association)

 
Self-care isn’t only chocolate and bubble baths. Self-care is what is meaningful and rejuvenates for you. A walk outside may be awesome for us in sitting professions. A nap may be great for those of us on our feet and active all day. It’s what works for YOU!
 
There are seven different facets of self-care. I learned about the other facets of self-care researching for this blog.
 
7 Types of Self Care

1. Physical
2. Emotional
3. Mental
4. Social
5. Spiritual
6. Practical
7. Professional

Physical
Physical is what we often see and consider self-care. This means things that enhance and engage your physical well-being.  How can you do something that helps you feel balanced, calm and peaceful. Doing something daily, even small things to care for your body are great ways to take good care of your physical body.
 
Ideas for physical self-care – Physical activity – walk, run, bike ride, hike; massage, warm bath, napping, dancing, gardening, getting good sleep, keeping hydrated, fueling body, get a physical. It’s being in control and mindful of your physical health.
 
Emotional
Self-care of our emotions are things we do to connect, process and reflect on our emotions. Terrific for when we’re triggered - by others, uncertainty, when our feeling feels out of control, or when we’re struggling with emotions.
 
Ideas for emotional self-care – journaling your feelings, meditation, creating art, playing music, expressing gratitude, a regular gratitude practice, affirmations/mantras, or working with a therapist, coach, or spiritual guide.
 
Mental
Mental self-care is doing something to stimulate your mind and intellect in a healthy manner. This part of self-care includes setting healthy boundaries.
 
Ideas for mental self-care – learning something new, reading a book, solving puzzles, playing games like chess, taking a class, listening to a podcast, visiting a museum, writing, watching an inspiring documentary or movie, and practicing self-compassion.
 
Social
Activities that nurture your relationships with others are ways to build social self-care. The key is to find balance in spending time with others who are uplifting and positive. Taking an inventory of those people who are toxic, negative or stress you out and determine how much time if any you want to spend in these relationships. Evaluate what your needs are for relationships and nurturing connection.
 
Ideas for social self-care– Phone calls and visits with loved ones, outings with friends, dating your special person, writing and sending cards, getting out if you’ve been hermiting, mindfully being with those who uplift you while taking good care of you.
 
Spiritual
Taking action to be engaged, connected, and nurture your soul while thinking outside of yourself. It may or may not be religious and/or honor a higher power. It can help you feel more grounded and find meaning. A resilient benefit is coping better through change and loss.
 
Ideas for spiritual self-care – Prayer, meditation, worship, yoga, spending time in nature, self reflection, volunteering for a meaningful to you cause.
 
Practical
Tasks and things, you do to complete and fulfill your essential needs are ways to practice practical self-care. By taking care of these things you in turn reduce future stress. I hadn’t considered this a self-care practice until researching for this blog. However, doing things to help your life run smoothly and taking control over your life ARE a self-care practice.
 
Ideas for practical self-care– Organize an area of the home – especially ones that are stressful, create a budget or meet with a financial planner, organize your workspace – both virtual and physical so it works for you, plan your meals for the week, prep food for the week, plan your week, keep a time budget for yourself (what are you mindfully vs. mindlessly spending time on for example).
 
Professional
Professional self-care looks like activities and actions that support your career that supports balance and fulfillment. Another topic of self-care I hadn’t considered before. By doing self-care in your career you can reduce burnout and feelings of overwhelm.
 
Ideas for professional self-care – Set boundaries, professional development, get a mentor, utilize time blocking, calendar time for lunch, breaks and exercise, having a going to work and leaving work routine. Take PTO and vacations. Take sick days and/ or mental health days. Utilize the company benefits – financial planning, health, mental health, gym memberships, etc. if you’re privileged to have them.  The intent is to mindfully care for you and your professional life.
 
Now that you know the 7 types of self-care you can assess where you are, determine the areas to grow, develop strategies. Take one area and take action this week for self-care. Take steps to build up to a self-care routine that works for you.
 
Here is to a well cared for YOU. When you do then you can show up fully and be a light

As Jim Rohn said, “I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me.”  A favorite quote for me that my hubs, Bill introduced me to.
 
How will you take really good care of you this next day, week, month and year? I’d love to hear what how you take really good care of you?
 
If you or someone you know would like support in life or business with putting self-care in to action or building resiliency, please reach out and contact me. I provide a safe place to explore your life and business. I love when my clients share their wins and seeing them embrace their lives while living boldly!
 
Teresa – Mindfully digging into self-care
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
 
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com
 
Author of:
•    Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again 
•    The First Days Widow Journey 
•    Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights and wisdom from Austin area coaches

​This is the time of year when overwhelm with the upcoming holidays with family are factoring into daily stress. It sounds like: What to do about X?, Do we have to?, How to do I talk to ..?,  I should do.., I’m so stressed out and “this” adds to it. This being – family issues, politics, health. vaccine status, expectations, finances, traditions, travel, dealing with toxic people, and responsibilities.
 
AND it’s the time of gratitude and thanksgiving.
 
Let’s acknowledge all of “this” can be stressful and overwhelming.
 
Can we be grateful AND say no to have healthy boundaries?
 
YES, you can!
 
AND you get to!
 - a positive reframe of I have to, I need to, I should.
 
How to be grateful and say no.

1. Take a moment to lean into being grateful and thankful

1. Utilize the 5 Things Gratitude Exercise - click here
2. What are you most thankful for?
3. What does gratitude look like to you?
4. Who do you want to thank?

 
2. How do you wish to express gratitude and thanksgiving?  

3. How would you like to be thanked?  

4. Take time to discern healthy boundaries you need. It’s a strong resilience skill!
  

Healthy boundaries = Saying yes to what you want to and NO to what you don’t want, while mitigating toxic people and environments.
 
 
With the theme of No November. Think of what you’d like to say no to.
 
A few of the benefits of Healthy boundaries:

• Taking care of you by loving and honoring yourself and others.
• Build confidence
• Leads to greater compassion
• Reduces anger, resentment, frustration and negativity
• Build positivity and happiness
• Increases peace and safety​

How to plan and start saying “NO” and setting boundaries for the holidays
 
1. Evaluate the upcoming holiday season and the events, traditions, travel and gatherings.
    a. What brings you joy and love?
    b. What brings you stress and negativity?
 
 
2. Next evaluate your calendar and schedule with energy, time, travel, and rest included.
    a. What do you want to say Yes to?
     
    b. What do you want to say No to?
 

 
3.Triggers – be aware of them and make a mitigation plan.  
    a. If X gets drunk and obnoxious, I’m leaving the room.
     
    b. If the conversation turns to X hot topic, I will not engage.
     
    c. If __ happens, I’ll respectfully remove myself.
 

 
4.Practice Soft No and Hard No’s
 

 
Soft no’s – leaves room for a possible yes & can be easier
     

1. Say no, not this year.
   
2. Say no, not now.
     
3. I have to check my calendar.
     
4. Maybe later.
     
5. I’m exhausted, let’s talk in a couple hours.
6. Let’s discuss this later.

 
Hard No’s – firm but kind
     

1. No. -It’s a complete sentence & requires no justification.
2. No, I need to take care of myself.
     
3. No, I’m setting personal boundaries.
     
4. No, I’ve got other plans. (you don’t need to explain)
     
5. No, I appreciate the invite and offer but I’m not going to make it.
     
6. No thank you.
     

 
5. Want to say No but just “can’t / won’t” options

Those challenging times, people and events that no feels too much. Too hard to say no, feels awkward, you might also be wresting with what the ask is.
​
     

1. Say yes to what you want to without saying. No.
2. Thank you I’m coming for X (30min, 1 hour, deserts, starters, main meal)
     
   Define a time frame that will work for you and let the host know.
     
3. Maybe, let me get back to you by ____ date/time.
     
4. I need to check with my calendar/other person
     
5. I can bring a pie over for deserts and visit for a bit.
     
6. Yes, and I’m setting this boundary for my visit- share the boundary

 
How to set boundaries for healthy living and happier times


1. Determine your boundaries – see this article I wrote on how to set them.

2. Communicate your boundary with love, grace and respect with the host/family friend.
     i. I may need to step out or leave to take care of myself.
     

         ii. If ___ happens (fill in the blank of what is overstepping your boundaries.)
            then I will        (how you will take care of yourself)
   
         iii. I’m taking care of myself this year and I need ___.
     
         iv. If I leave the room and take a walk by myself it’s not personal, it’s for my health.


 
When the boundary is overstepped - Stay firm and stand your ground with your boundaries
     
     a. Repeat your boundary without emotion & respectfully
     
     b. Don’t engage
     c. You do not need to explain or justify yourself

     d. Remove yourself from the room, place, situation.
 
  

More tips for setting boundaries with friends and families
- Click Here


 
When there’s been changes in the family dynamics – deaths, divorce, illness …
     
Tips for survival and navigating the change. – Click here

 
Strategies for family time and the holidays
-10 more strategies
 

 
Please do be grateful and express thanksgiving. Please also create healthy boundaries and say NO. It’s No November after all. Make space for yourself and be mindful of how you spend the time, energy and your interactions.
 

 
I plan extra quiet time in between gatherings and events. I’m working towards being comfortable with no, stating my boundaries and saying no while expressing gratitude and thankgiving.

May you be grateful AND set healthy boundaries for you and your loved ones. I hope you feel more comfortable setting your boundaries and practicing saying no in November. 


 
I wish you and yours the most blessed November and holiday season.
 
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Please like, comment, and share! 
 

 
Peace, Love, and Blessings,
 


Teresa – leaning into saying No and being mindful with boundaries while being grateful

Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, PCC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
 
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com
 
Author of:
•   Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again - 4.8 Stars on Amazon
•   Torn in Half: The First Days  - Widow Journey - 5 Stars on Amazon
•   Explorations into the Being and Doing of Coaching: A collection of voices, insights and wisdom from Austin area coaches

Flooding, wildfires, and now COVID-19 – Is the world spinning out of control?  If you have some anxiety and worry about the current events that’s 100% normal. You may ask, “What is the world coming to?” or  “How will this impact my life?” Let me help you with coping when the world seems scary and out of control. Facts not fear.
 
First, if you or someone you know has been directly impacted by any of this, I acknowledge you and the impact now matter now great or small. You are loved.  
 
Second, it’s hard to NOT to be impacted by the news. You’re not alone. Just hearing of these natural disasters can make us feel anxious or fearful. Feeling stressed and or anxious after a stressful and or traumatic experience is common. We’re all impacted.
 
This is distress shows up emotionally, mentally, and in our behaviors. You might not be directly but the shock and news of it has impacted you. First step to coping is to acknowledge this stress.
 
Maybe you’re fearful, worried, sad, angry, filled with anxiety, hopeless, irritable,  or even feeling depressed.  I’ve heard comments from my clients like, “I’m concerned about public transportation., How will this affect my investments? What about travel?, What about my family traveling to ____? I’m just going to ignore this and keep on living., I’m afraid of ….” .

All 100% normal responses and parts of process of dealing with stress.
 
Common signs of stress to be aware of in yourself and others

• Difficulty concentrating
• Making mistakes
• Low energy
• Overwhelm
• Headaches
• Stomach or digestive issues
• Pain – aches, tense muscles
• Sleep issues
• Clenched jaw or teeth grinding
• Changes in appetite
• Mood swings

 
Things to be mindful of when overloaded with stress
 

• Racing anxious thoughts
• Negative only thoughts
• Catastrophizing
• Irritability and anger
• Isolation and/or loneliness
• Racing heart
• Loss of drive
• Withdrawing from others and activities
• Neglecting responsibilities or procrastinating
• Using substances to unwind or relax

 
15 Tips to Reduce and Cope with Stress

1. Acknowledge your thoughts and feelings
2. Express your feelings in a safe healthy way
3. Maintain healthy routines
4. Stay connected
5. Eating healthy and drinking enough water
6. Sleep – get enough for you
7. Regular exercise – even a short walk
8. Nature – get outside, especially in the sunlight
9. Limit or remove news and social media content
10. Journal – just write with no expectation or judgement
11. Be mindful of how busy you are and how your schedule may increase stress
12. Practice Gratitude
13. Meditation or Praying
14. Play your favorite uplifting music

 
Bonus Tip - Support – find support
Talking to a trusted person, spiritual leader, friend, family, counselor or coach.
Join a group online
 
Journal/Contemplation Prompts
 

1. What am I feeling stressed/fearful/anxious about?
2. Where do I feel this stress/fear/anxiety in my body?
3. I want to feel______.
4. What do I have control over?
5. What is the  opportunity in this stressful situation?
6. What are three good things about today?
7. I am grateful for ____ .

I hope this has been useful and helpful to you. My intent is that as we move in to this new normal of change and chaos in the world that we can cope and thrive.  I’ve noted additional resources below. Please share with anyone who may benefit from this article.
 
I help people feeling overwhelmed or stuck with how to plan to move forward. Click here to learn how I help and support others.
 
Peace and blessings,
 
Teresa –Practicing my tips above to reduce anxiety and stress.
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down and want to build resiliency and move forward to live a bold life.

Stress Resources

Stress Signs & Symptoms
Stress Management
Healthy Living Management
Stress Effects

COVID-19

Share Facts
EPA List of Microbial Products
CDC About
WHO
WHO Details
How Serious is COVID-19? Infectious Disease Expert Interview
Coronavirus: Why you must act now.
Managing Stress & Anxiety 

Happy November!  I hope are are well. This month's focus is Inspired Living and how we might become more inspired to take action!

I’ll be posting daily on this theme of inspired living on social media with inspirational quotes, a weekly focus, journal prompts and affirmations on. If you are not on social media and would like to see these keep reading or click here.
 
This infographic is a great place to start becoming inspired and taking action!

I love these 12 areas for focusing on feeling inspired. They are great reminders as we move into the holiday season and 2019 as well. 

What if you could find more inspiration in life and live boldly AND take action?

How about you?

• Which of these above resonates the most with you?
• Are there any that you’d like to lean into for November?
• Do you need some inspiration? 
• How do you feel about taking action?
  

I’ll be checking out E - Extend your social circle & D - Do Something That ScaresYou
I'm opting for outside my comfort zone for this one vs. terrifying :)

Weekly Focus Topics for November

• Week 1 - Comfort Zones
• Week 2  - Limiting Beliefs
• Week 3  - Get Inspired & Take Action
• Week 4  - Awe & Wonder

 
Not on Social Media or Facebook but interested in daily inspiration?
Click here to sign up to receive the quotes, weekly focus, and journal prompts, via email. It's free and no pressure - just daily inspirations, quotes, focus questions, journal prompts and affirmations.
 
If you or someone you know would like support in finding inspiration, taking action, or any of the 12 ideas in the Infographic please reach out and contact me. I can help support you in becoming inspired and taking action.  I love seeing my clients living their unique bold lives!
 
Much gratitude, peace, love and blessings,
 
Teresa
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.

[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again

How is 2017 going for you so far?  Did you set any 2017 goals or make any resolutions?  Maybe you are in the camp of no, I don’t set goals or do resolutions. I  get that and I’ve been there.
 
OR, Are you in the camp that set’s goals and resolutions?  If so, how’s it going?  Still cranking away and zooming towards your goals. Maybe you even met a few. High five to you!  
 
Or maybe you are with the camp of, I set goals or make resolutions and I find that Change is HARD.  Maybe you are good till about March then I fall off the wagon. Change is hard and new habits take time. We’ve all heard that before. I get that and often March/April is when I fall off the goal wagon, that happened in 2016. So what do we do? Is there anything we can do? Yes, Read on.
 
I’ve talked to numerous people over this last month about Goals and Resolutions and it seems most of us fall into one of the following categories. Goal/Resolution Setter, Goal/Resolution Hater, Goal/Resolution Half-wayer (to coin a new phrase).

To the Haters – I get that, I’ve been there. I am curious to the why? Is life so perfect and amazing that you no longer feel the need to have goals? That’s awesome! Tell me how you got there? OR Is life so  messed up you’ve given up hope on yourself and others? Is there something else? Perhaps fear of failure.  Do you think that, maybe if I don’t set goals then I won’t feel bad about not reaching them? Been there, get that.  Maybe it’s something else, please share and comment, I'd really love to understand. Haters read on.
 
To the Goal/Resolution Setters – I find there are a few types of these folks.

• One type I see is, “I set goal because I use them to drive myself/business/relationships (whatever) forward and continue to improve.” These folks are constantly seeking growth and forward movement in life. 
• Another type, “I set goals and make lists to help me reach my goals.  I love the feeling of completion of  a goal and getting to cross it off my list.”
• Another version of Goal/Resolution Setter – “I always do this every year and it sets the course for my year.” They are visionaries for their lives and use goals and resolutions to map out their year. 

 Goal Setters read on.
 
To the Half-Wayers – These are folks who should, need and want to do something different in 2017.  They often don’t necessarily know how, have the support or understand the why the change is really for the best.

• There are people who feel they should, “Well I SHOULD do XYZ (insert goal-  loose 20lbs., exercise more, etc.) … so here’s my goal to do that.”  These folks have a something external driving their goal.  The drive is not deep within.   

 

• I know folks that say, “I NEED to do ___ in 2017, so I’ll make a goal or set  a resolution. “ There’s an obligation to do something different.  Not necessarily what they want or will to do.
  

 

• Then there are the folks that WANT to do something, “I want to be happy/fulfilled/joyful/richer/in a new job (you fill in the blank) in 2017 so I’ll do (insert goal)” These folks have a desire to do something different and set a goal.  However they may lack the tools or support to accomplish it. 

Half-wayers read on..
 
What can we do to reach our goals?  Do we have to set goals?  How do people actually meet their goals?
There’s a ton written on this subject and feel free to Google to your hearts content.  Are there really ways to reach goals? Who can help?  Read further to find out. I’ve got free tips and resources for you to help you accomplish what you want.

Tips for All Types On Accomplishing Things (I avoided the world Goal on purpose)

Hater’s - Ready to invest time and energy to move forward? 

• Pick something you’d like to do or accomplish in the next week or month.
• Take a few moments to think about the outcome and how you’d feel when you accomplished this.
• The longer and more vivid that vision is the better.
• That’s it! 

Nothing to write down or track. Often making a conscious vision about an outcome is all it takes to meet a goal.
 
Goal Setters – Have a goal that’s particularly challenging?

• Do the same as above for the Haters and add some mini steps to accomplishing it.
  
• Break the goal into bite size chunks.
• How many steps and actions does it take to reach the tough goal?
• Who could help you?
• What resources do you have?

Half-Way-ers -Should/Need/Want to-ers – Ready to move past the guilt, obligation, desire but no action?

• Pick one small thing you can do today to move forward on your goal.
• Make that one thing a SMART goal.
  
• Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, and Timebound.
• You can always add the Hater and Goal-Setter steps as well.
  

 

• For example my big overall goal is: I desire less stress in my life and wish to incorporate a meditation practice to my daily routine. Here’s a bite size goal for one-day example:
  • S: I will meditate
    
  • M: for 15 minutes
  • A: Yes – I have the time blocked in my schedule (I can do it now, 9am daily, etc.)
    
  • R: Yes, I have a quiet space for this and guided meditation support.
  • T: Today 1/XX/17 for 15 minutes.
    
• Complete the goal and celebrate – you took one step forward!!

 
See how easy that was? Easy the first time, by March not so much. I totally understand that. I fall into that as well sometimes.  We all know it takes time for habits to form.  Looking for support in achieving goals and making new habits? Let’s connect.
 
How about a real tried and true method that works and can move you forward toward a goal or goals?   You probably are thinking, really Teresa?  Sounds too good to be true.  Those that know me, know I am a no BS kind of gal.  There is a program called Now What?® and it works.  I’ve used it for my own business and became a licensed facilitator as a result. I’ve worked with clients and seen the difference it can make in others lives.  I now offer it as a coaching package.  Who does it work for?

Now What?® Is for you if you are:

• Ready to make a Change
• Change has happened to your life
  • Loss of a loved one, health status, caregiver status, moved, or deployed.
• Job Change
  • Job isn’t fulfilling, feeling stressed out, bored, or want a new rewarding job.
• Career Change
  • Laid off, right sized, down sized, preparing for retirement, or re-entering workforce.
• Feeling stuck
• Lack of purpose and or passion
• Looking for clarity
• Ready to develop a strategy and design a plan to accomplish your new direction.

Want to learn more or interested in Now What?® click here or the button below to find out more.

Looking for information on Grief and Goals - check out my Jan. 2016 blog post on this topic.
 
Are you or someone you know going through a life change and wonder what’s next?  Feeling stuck and not sure what to do?  If so, I’d be honored to embark on that journey together with you.  I partner with those who desire change and are ready to make positive changes.  Together we work to move forward to live boldly and fulfilled.  I love hearing my clients regain their lives and loving life again.

Check out my website or email me  to learn more.  Let’s connect.  If you want more change, loss, and life tips register for my newsletter – to the right of this blog.

Wishing you and yours a Peaceful, Prosperous and Blessed New Year,
 
Teresa Bitner, PMP, M. Ed., ACC

Bold Fulfilled Business & Life Coach –Change, Loss and Resilience Specialty
[email protected]

Goal Setting Resources

5 things to Remember When Setting Goals 2017
http://www.inc.com/gordon-tredgold/5-things-to-remember-when-setting-your-2017-goals.html
 
Reach Goals and Make Dreams Happen in 2017
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/debbie-lyn-toomey/be-a-manifestorreach-goal_b_13860828.html

Can Goals be Too Big?
http://breakfreeandreclaimyourlife.com/uncategorized/can-your-goals-be-too-big

Overview and SMART Goals: http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html
A different view of goals. Systems related. Interesting take. http://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
 
Why You Should Be Writing Down Your Goals - Forbes

Teresa's Free Resources and References
http://www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com/free-resources-and-references.html

Western culture does embrace talking about grief and loss.  It’s often a taboo or at the very least an uncomfortable topic of conversation.  However, talking about your loss in an open and non-judgmental setting can be healthy and beneficial. 
 
What are a few of the benefits of Talking About Your Loss?

• Lessens the intensity of the sadness, anger, and pain
• Improves your immune, heart/vascular, and nervous systems
• Some needed out-loud thinking that can lead to perspective
• Feeling of peace and stability that it’s OK and you are normal for these feelings
• Venting and releasing stress around your grief
• Finding hope from others who may inspire or be helpful
• Finding support and understanding from others – possibly who’ve experienced a similar loss
• Learning coping skills and techniques from others

 
Tips for Whom To Talk To
 
1. Be aware others might not be ready or able to listen – ask first

2. Learn how to ask for what you need?

      Do you need them to: just to listen, no problem solving or judgment, maybe you do want
      advice or problem solving, just time to vent, some one to verify I’m not losing my mind,
      a shoulder to cry on, bounce ideas off of, etc.
 
3. Choose carefully and wisely – be sure you trust them and they are someone unrelated and involved in your loss.  Ask if they are able to listen with out judgment.
 
If there is no way you are comfortable talking about your loss at this time, try journaling.  Writing can have similar benefits.  However, talking to a trusted person, professional, mentor, coach, or spiritual guide can often result in greater benefits.
 
Do you have other ideas about talking about your loss and grief?  What have you experienced?  I’d love to hear more. Please share your thoughts with me.  Email me @ [email protected]

Want to learn more about to handle grief and loss?  Don’t miss my upcoming 3-part series – Overcoming the Tsunami of Grief starting Mon. Aug. 22 @ 1pm Eastern / 12noon Central/ 10am Pacific - Click here to learn more, set an alert and calendar reminder. I will be discussing my own journey, sharing helpful steps to overcome your grief, and share ways to figure out what is 'normal' and how to handle your loss around others.
 
Please share if you know someone who could benefit!  Use the share buttons below.

Peace, & Blessings,
 
Teresa Bitner 

Bold Fulfilled Business & Life Coach–Change and Loss Specialty
[email protected]

I’m really honored and delighted to be interviewed on the international platform The Business Springboard with Radio Host Louise Crooks, and it’s coming up SOON.  I wanted you to hear all about it.
 
Join us for this 3 part interview series - Overcome the Tsunami Wave of Grief and Loss Now
 
We will cover 3 topics in this interview series:
 
Episode 1:  Overcoming the Tsunami of Grief  - Am I Going Crazy?
Mon. 22 Aug @ 1pm Eastern / 12noon Central/ 10am Pacific -Click here to set an alert.
 
Episode 2:  Confronting My Loss And Accepting My Life Has Changed
Wed. 24th Aug @ 1pm Eastern / 12noon Central / 10am Pacific    
Save the date!   More info coming to you shortly.
 
Episode 3:  Finding Your New Normal After The Loss of a Loved One.
Fri. 26th Aug @ 1pm Eastern / 12noon Central / 10am Pacific
Save the date!  More info coming to you soon.
 
 
Episode 1 - Overcoming the Tsunami of Grief – Am I Going Crazy?
 
In this first episode Louise will interview me on why grief often feels like we are going crazy after experiencing great loss.  I will share how I survived the sudden loss of my first husband and long journey through my mother’s failing health to eventual death, and the peaks and valleys that followed.
 
Listen in to learn steps to overcome and get through this tsunami of emotion.  You'll find out what is 'normal' when you are grieving and what to expect after a loss.  You'll hear tips for managing your emotional journey in a work setting and how to handle it with your employees and colleagues, as well as with other family members.  Listen in and learn more about how this journey doesn’t have to be a lonely and isolating one. 

REMEMBER!  Calendar this in NOW so you’re sure to catch this compelling show.

Monday 22nd Aug at 1pm ET/12 CT/10am PT
Click here to LISTEN LIVE, and to schedule your show alert: http://budurl.com/grieftsunami
 
Want to know a bit more about the rest of this 3 part interview series? 

I’m sure you’ll find the topics we’re discussing really helpful. (Please share if you know someone who could benefit! You can use the share buttons below.)


Here’s a little taster of what’s coming up:
 
Episode 2: Confronting My Loss And Accepting My Life Has Changed
 
In this second episode I’ll be interviewed on how to confront your loss. We’ll discuss why moving toward acceptance is important for healing and moving forward, as well as how to take steps to move toward acceptance, and the benefits of acceptance – both personally and professionally.  Grief is something that affects us all at some point in our lives.  It’s not IF, it’s WHEN.
 
Episode 3:  Finding Your New Normal After The Loss of a Loved One.
In this last episode of the series, I will be interviewed on what is meant by finding a new normal after a loss, how to find your new normal, steps to build your new normal – personally and professionally, possibilities for your new normal and lastly what do with those that don’t accept your new normal. Let’s unlock your change from within - and NOT from outside influences, which we’re susceptible to in times of great change.
 
I really hope you join us.  I know this could be a difficult time for you, and hope you’ll get lots from these interviews. 
 
Mark off the dates in your calendar, and look out for more details over the next couple of weeks.
 
Peace & Blessings,
 
Teresa
 
P.S.  Do you know someone who could really benefit from listening to this series?  Please feel free to forward this information to them, to let them know.  Not only will I be grateful, but I’m sure they will be too!

PPS. Looking for Grief Resources - check out my free resource page.