10 Strategies for Family Time & The Holidays

We in America are embarking on the season of holidays and the expectation of family time.
How are you feeling about that?

For some of you with that perfect Norman Rockwell family you are all excited and brimming with joy. For many there’s a mixture of feelings: from anxiety, dread, stress, happiness, and sadness. Family and relationships can be so darn complicated. Then we add on the expectations and stress of the holidays and what media tells us it “should” look like. It's no wonder there's stress and anxiety around the holidays.
 
Reminder. We are humans with all of the beautiful unique parts of humanity. The “perfect” family is a figment of media. I like to say my family put the fun in dysfunction. We're all doing the best we can.
 
What can you do to prepare and be ready for family time? Here are some strategies that I've researched, learned from clients and tried myself. I find that Resiliency = Mindfulness + Boundaries 

10 Strategies for Family Time & The Holidays

1. Make a plan

1. How do you want to celebrate?
2. What time to arrive, leave, take a break, go to sleep, etc.
3. If you can’t stand someone or know you’re gonna blow up?
   1. Especially after Aunt Suzie says THAT again.
4. Make a plan to mitigate your anxiety, sadness, anger, irritation or whatever IT is.
5. Plan activities, games, and/or distractions

 
2. Know your boundaries

1. If you can set them up beforehand.
2. You might need to remind folks and hold firm.
3. See this article for setting boundaries with family & friends.​

3. Take good care of yourself

1. Eat, rest, exercise
2. Don’t drink or eat too much.
3. Do what you can. Even 5 min of quiet and deep breathing can reset you.
4. How will you care for yourself before, during and afterwards?

4. You are in charge of you.

1. You are in charge of what you say, do and think.
2. No one else is in charge of you or how you show up.
3. Be mindful of how what you say, do and are thinking.

 
5. Check in with your attitude and be mindful

1. Are you stressing yourself out before hand?
2. If so, focus on positive things about the people or things that are stressing you out.

 
6. Be realistic with your expectations

1. Do you really need to do _______for a family holiday?
2. What is a need vs. a want?
3. Do you expect the family jerk to suddenly be NOT a jerk just because it's ____ day?

7. What’s changed since…be mindful

1. Things happen during our lives and often times the holidays smack us with THAT change that happened.
2. Change can be hard - be mindful and checkin with yourself.
3. See this article on 5 tips for thriving family events when there’s been a change

 
8. Gratitude

1. Expressing it and practicing it can diffuse the environment.
2. Here’s my recent article on gratitude.

 
I hope you find these useful and are able to have a good family holiday where ever and however you choose to celebrate or not. 

May you and yours have a blessed family holiday time in whatever way you choose to celebrate. 

Much peace, love and blessings,
 
Teresa
 
Teresa Q. Bitner, M.Ed., PMP, ACC - Resiliency, Change and Loss Coach
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
 
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com

Author of Soul Love: How A Dog Taught Me to Breathe Again

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