Family Time – 5 Tips to Thrive at Spring/Easter/Passover Gatherings

Ready or not it’s another time of year where many families gather for a religious or other holiday in the spring (weddings, graduations, etc.) So much to celebrate and SO many events to hang out as a family. Which egg are you? Do you love that, dread it, or it depends? I’ve been on all ends of the spectrum. I’m at the acceptance part of the fact that life continues to change as kids move, move back, change relationships, adult vs. child relationships and all that brings about. Plus normal family dynamics it’s tricky and time to re-examine where I am emotionally.
 
For whatever reason, we don’t talk about this season as being a “stressful time” like we do for the winter holidays. However, any family gathering can bring up that struggle and stress of family and getting along with family.  There’s a lot we are not talking about trying to keep the peace and be nice to one another.  Who’s doing what to whom, blending families, changing families (who’s there and not there and why), introducing the person in your life to the rest of the family, when do you bring them to a family gathering, who’s gonna say or do what, why does she always bring that side dish, etc.
 
Not to mention those darn personal expectations we all have about what the event is all about. This is where I believe the crux of the stress occurs. Our expectations on who and what it’s about and how it’s supposed to be vs. reality of what occurs. What if we could just enjoy the present moment? We can!
 
5 Tips and Resources on Thriving at Family Events Even When There's Change

1. Stop and think about how you feel about an event or even person.
   1. Really just let those feelings roll over you. Allow them all to be. No judgement.
   2. You may wish to journal, draw, or contemplate the following
      1. ​What are my feelings? 
      2. What is the source of this feeling?
      3. Is this true for me now? Do I want this to still be true?
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2. What’s most important about this event or person for you?
   1. Who knows this and how can you share this?
      
      
3. If your family has been through a large change – I wrote about this in Life Changes and also how to be in the present moment when there are large changes. Check them out.
   
   
4. Consider how relationships may have changed since the last time you were all gathered.
   1. New family member or some no longer there?
   2. Moves, divorces, births, marriages, deaths, living together, elder care/living changes, etc.
   3. Adult to Child, Child to Adult, Who’s in what role now?
   4. Here’s an article on When Relationships Change for support and tips
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5. Is it time to set some boundaries about how you interact with certain people?
   1. Boundaries are all about respect for yourself and others.

 
I wish you and yours the most blessed spring. I love spring, Easter, Passover and all of the holidays and celebrations of spring. It can sometimes be a little overwhelming and I know I need some quiet time in between. Family has some sweet memories and I’m present in making new memories with those who choose to be a part of my life this year. 
 
Do you have any tips or thoughts on this “it’s complicated” topic of relationships and family gatherings? I’d live to hear them. Please like, comment, and share!
 
Peace, Love, and Blessings,
 
Teresa Bitner, PMP, M. Ed., ACC
Partnering with those who have been knocked down my life and want to build resiliency and move forward and live a bold life.
[email protected]

PS. My memoir Soul Love:How a Dog Taught Me to Breathe will be released soon. Stay tuned!