Did you set any 2016 goals or make any resolutions? Maybe you are in the camp of no, I don’t set goals or do resolutions. I get that. Perhaps, you’re too stuck in the fog of grief to really even contemplate setting goals. I’ve been there. It’s perfectly normal.
Perhaps you in the camp that set’s goals and resolutions? If so, how’s it going? Still cranking away and zooming towards your goals. Maybe you even met a few. High five to you! That’s awesome!
Maybe you’re with the camp of that does set goals or make resolutions but you are finding that Change is HARD. Keeping goals and resolutions especially when you are in the midst of dealing with grief and loss can be a huge challenge.
I personally am a goal setter most of the time. In deep grief and loss periods, goals keep me focused on doing something. I do know that in the initial deep hurting grief that even setting one goal can be virtually impossible. That’s A OK. Lean into your grief. Do the next thing. That’s a goal – do the next thing & breathe. Just breathe. That’s where I start when life turns upside down.
If you find you just don’t, can’t, or won’t set goals. Consider what might be blocking you from setting goals. Do you fear failure or maybe success in reaching a goal? Does a goal feel like just one more thing to do and there’s just no room in your life for that?
What are the benefits of goal setting? A few that I found are that goals can give you a sense of purpose, provide a focus, motivation, a sense of achievement, improve self- esteem and self-confidence, responsibility for own successes, a road to follow, time management, setting boundaries, peace of mind, and often clarity for decision making.
How do you set goals? There’s a ton of research and resources on this.
I will summarize that using the SMART goal mnemonic can be helpful. SMART = Specific, Measureable, Achievable/Assignable, Realistic/Relevant and Time bound. See the resources below for more information on goals.
Specifically Grief and Goals
1. Determine what’s most important for you in the upcoming year.
- Some Ideas that I used in the past: get out of bed and dressed two more days of the week., pay the bills on time each month, make one of those “important” phone calls each week, sort papers for 30min., research the job market for 1 hour this week, start exercising 2 days per week – working up to 3 days a week, eat a salad twice a week, etc.
- The idea is that the goal is something important and moves you forward.
- The goal is also positive and future looking.
- Notice there are no Don’t, Should, Stop in the examples above.
2. Try setting a goal – just one. If you are up to it set a few.
Whatever seems right.
3. Write it down and display it somewhere meaningful and helpful to you.
- I make a little word device to help me remember that captures the essence of each SMART goal.
- 2016 = Fit, Focused and Prosperous
4. Contemplate journaling what the completion of that goal will look and feel like when you have completed it. This will tap into your Why this goal is important and help you when you feel like giving up.
5. If you get stuck, start over, try again. It's OK to start over!
6. If you get really stuck and just can’t move forward you may consider professional help from a counselor, spiritual guide, mentor or coach.
PS. If one of your goals is to get healthy check out last year’s Jan. blog Change or Die – Resolutions by the Wayside.http://www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com/coaching-blog/archives/01-2015
In closing, I hope that 2016 finds you well and ready to move forward. If you or someone you know find this useful or thought provoking, I’d love to hear from you. Click like, share, comment, or email me – see buttons and links below.
If you’re interested in coaching from me, I’d be honored to embark on that journey together with you. I desire supporting those in grief and their journey forward.
Check out my website to contact me. If you want more life, change, loss tips register for my newsletter – to the right of this blog.
Peace, Love, & Blessings,
Bold Fulfilled Business & Life Coach –Change and Loss Specialty
A Few Goal Setting Resources
Overview and SMART Goals: http://www.mindtools.com/page6.html
A different view of goals. Systems related. Interesting take. http://jamesclear.com/goals-systems
Writing down goals –http://www.forbes.com/sites/85broads/2014/04/08/why-you-should-be-writing-down-your-goals/