- It’s a “better” day so I will write about my grief experience since my last update. There is a lot I’ve learned and discovered.
Whirlwind of transition and change for the first week as we move dad to memory care, begin to sort through the old stuff of my parents and deal with the mountain of paperwork associated with death. I find I’m at times overwhelmed by it all and other times I feel grateful this process is easier than Kris’s. Grief has many different colors, flavors, and personalities I am learning. I know each person experiences grief in their own way on their own time. There is no right or wrong way to do it.
I read or heard somewhere that grief is like an unwanted house guest. I never really got what that meant. My previous grief experiences were either less personal and less deep or so incredibly deep that it was way more than an unwanted house guest.
Unwanted house guest really fits the current grief. It shows up unexpectedly, it’s not welcomed, I’d rather it just go away, and I can’t evict it. I’ve got to live with it. I have no idea how long it will stay. I have things to do, a business to run and there’s that darn grief house guest annoyingly in my way of progress. Augh…
This week’s view of grief…..from TQ’s perspective:
I find myself in spurts of energized positive behaviors. Often that’s followed by a big miasma of blah. Sometimes I just don’t care about anything. Sometimes I am sad and weepy. I might be overwhelmed and cranky. Other times I am in a state of “I don’t know….” Darn house guest, grief, is here to stay. So what do I do…? What can you do?
- Here’s what I’ve learned.
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Support – having support during this time is key.
- Ask if you don’t have support, hire someone, talk to someone. There are people who want to support and help you like family, friends, spiritual leaders, coaches, mentors, counselors, etc.
- Ask if you don’t have support, hire someone, talk to someone. There are people who want to support and help you like family, friends, spiritual leaders, coaches, mentors, counselors, etc.
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Listen to your body for what it needs and honor that.
- TAKE care of YOURSELF! (Rest, cry, hug, quiet time, loud music, exercise, sleep, distractions…etc.)
- TAKE care of YOURSELF! (Rest, cry, hug, quiet time, loud music, exercise, sleep, distractions…etc.)
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Ask for what you need.
- Tell those around you what’s going and what you need. (I know that may be hard and sometimes you don’t know – tell them, I don’t know.)
- Tell those around you what’s going and what you need. (I know that may be hard and sometimes you don’t know – tell them, I don’t know.)
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Lean into the grief. Allow it time to just be with you. Trust and Allow.
- If you try to avoid it I promise it will show up in an often very inconvenient time or place in a possibly exaggerated manner.
- If you try to avoid it I promise it will show up in an often very inconvenient time or place in a possibly exaggerated manner.
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FEEL - Don’t ignore your feelings.
- Get those feelings out, inspect them, embrace them, and allow them to flow through you.
- Journal – Write out your feelings, thoughts. Just write.
- If journaling isn’t your thing. Talk to someone. Contemplate in nature.
- Get those feelings out, inspect them, embrace them, and allow them to flow through you.
Some days are better days and others are not so great at the moment. I embrace them all for what I may learn and grow from. I’ll share as I learn more and here’s to more “better” days.
Some days are better days and others are not so great at the moment. I embrace them all for what I may learn and grow from. I’ll share as I learn more and here’s to more “better” days.
I hope you or someone you know may find this useful or thought provoking, I’d love to hear from you. Click like, share, comment, or email me – see buttons and links below.
If you are interested in coaching from me, I’d be honored to embark on that journey together with you. I have a desire to support those in grief and their recovery. Check out my website to contact me. If you want more life, change, loss, or business tips register for my newsletter – to the right of this blog.
Peace, Love, & Blessings,
Teresa Bitner
Bold Fulfilled Business & Life Coach –Change and Loss Specialty
[email protected]
www.boldfulfilledlifecoach.com