Ponderings of a recovering Perfectionist.
Ever feel paralyzed and unable to complete a project as a perfectionist? You know that feeling of “I know it’s due but, I just need to do (insert that one more thing) before it’s or I’m ready.” Yup, me too. I thought I was OVER being a perfectionist and living my life with being happy with doing my best. Whammo, I am found myself in paralysis of in action. I will share my ponderings of perfectionism and most importantly simple steps to continuing the recovery and moving past the paralysis of perfectionism.
First inklings I still had a perfectionism problem.
The area I noticed perfectionism paralysis was this website. Why am I still "flafffing" around with my website? I can’t seem to get going on 100% completion. I’m becoming terrified it won’t be RIGHT no matter what I do. I remind myself of what I DO know. I KNOW how to write, design, and publish one. I’ve done this for a fortune 100 company for goodness sake. So why on earth can I not seem to get this 100% finished I kept asking myself. As a good perfectionist, I was certain I didn’t have ALL of the required items. I wasn’t SURE of the CORRECT software was the RIGHT tool for me. Then it was my layout, was that layout RIGHT for a GREAT coaching business, will the site drive traffic, will it be enticing and interesting, will it be....(fill in the blank). Then it was my content. Oh my, that’s NEVER going to be GOOD enough.
Notice the words in caps. CORRECT, RIGHT and GOOD. Key perfectionism words.
I’m finding that perfectionist people tend to be consumed by being, CORRECT, RIGHT, and GOOD enough. We have a huge need to be right, good enough, or the best.
Why does that matter SO much to us? Somewhere our wiring and/or experience has taught us that if we are RIGHT and GOOD enough/PERFECT then life will be BETTER. That can stem from environment, family, business, school telling us either directly or through experience that if we are good, perfect, right we will succeed.
The trick is to realize that sometimes it’s time to be done and you HAVE done enough. Know that if you do your best then it will be done. The other trick is to realize what really is behind the paralysis. For me it was fear. Fear of failure and/or rejection. Yuck, I thought the years of therapy had moved me past this fear. How do you move past the paralysis of perfection? Let me give you 10 +bonus tips for perfectionism recovery.
How to overcome the perfectionist paralysis:
1. Acknowledge it and Own it.
2. Ask yourself how does this benefit me?
3. Ask yourself how is this hurting me?
4. Where does this feeling originate?
5. Is this feeling still true?
6. Do I want a different reality?
7. What is my new reality if I answered yes to number 6?
8. What is the worst thing that can happen if it is NOT perfect?
9. Will those worst things likely happen? (think it’s 90% going to happen to meet this one)
10. Give yourself permission to be good enough without being perfect.
11. You were created perfect and love yourself for who you are. Everyone has a unique talent and gift to share with the world. Perfectionism isn’t on that list.
Want more insight? Need help recovering from perfectionism? Contact me for a free coaching consultation [email protected] or click the button on the right side of the blog page.
Ever feel paralyzed and unable to complete a project as a perfectionist? You know that feeling of “I know it’s due but, I just need to do (insert that one more thing) before it’s or I’m ready.” Yup, me too. I thought I was OVER being a perfectionist and living my life with being happy with doing my best. Whammo, I am found myself in paralysis of in action. I will share my ponderings of perfectionism and most importantly simple steps to continuing the recovery and moving past the paralysis of perfectionism.
First inklings I still had a perfectionism problem.
The area I noticed perfectionism paralysis was this website. Why am I still "flafffing" around with my website? I can’t seem to get going on 100% completion. I’m becoming terrified it won’t be RIGHT no matter what I do. I remind myself of what I DO know. I KNOW how to write, design, and publish one. I’ve done this for a fortune 100 company for goodness sake. So why on earth can I not seem to get this 100% finished I kept asking myself. As a good perfectionist, I was certain I didn’t have ALL of the required items. I wasn’t SURE of the CORRECT software was the RIGHT tool for me. Then it was my layout, was that layout RIGHT for a GREAT coaching business, will the site drive traffic, will it be enticing and interesting, will it be....(fill in the blank). Then it was my content. Oh my, that’s NEVER going to be GOOD enough.
Notice the words in caps. CORRECT, RIGHT and GOOD. Key perfectionism words.
I’m finding that perfectionist people tend to be consumed by being, CORRECT, RIGHT, and GOOD enough. We have a huge need to be right, good enough, or the best.
Why does that matter SO much to us? Somewhere our wiring and/or experience has taught us that if we are RIGHT and GOOD enough/PERFECT then life will be BETTER. That can stem from environment, family, business, school telling us either directly or through experience that if we are good, perfect, right we will succeed.
The trick is to realize that sometimes it’s time to be done and you HAVE done enough. Know that if you do your best then it will be done. The other trick is to realize what really is behind the paralysis. For me it was fear. Fear of failure and/or rejection. Yuck, I thought the years of therapy had moved me past this fear. How do you move past the paralysis of perfection? Let me give you 10 +bonus tips for perfectionism recovery.
How to overcome the perfectionist paralysis:
1. Acknowledge it and Own it.
2. Ask yourself how does this benefit me?
3. Ask yourself how is this hurting me?
4. Where does this feeling originate?
5. Is this feeling still true?
6. Do I want a different reality?
7. What is my new reality if I answered yes to number 6?
8. What is the worst thing that can happen if it is NOT perfect?
9. Will those worst things likely happen? (think it’s 90% going to happen to meet this one)
10. Give yourself permission to be good enough without being perfect.
11. You were created perfect and love yourself for who you are. Everyone has a unique talent and gift to share with the world. Perfectionism isn’t on that list.
Want more insight? Need help recovering from perfectionism? Contact me for a free coaching consultation [email protected] or click the button on the right side of the blog page.
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