Given our tumultuous times I'm writing on change and love. I see these times of change as an opportunity for light and love. I chose Dr. Martin Luther King’s quote to highlight that and serve as a reminder to us all. Dark or Light? I choose love and light over fear and darkness.
Change often is a fearful place for many. I 200% understand that. Change can be hard and very scary. As a change, resiliency and loss coach I see it all the time. People stuck in their change, fear of change, angry about a change, refusing to face the changes, or looking for a way out of it. Change can bring you to a dark place. I've been there too.
Fear, anger, and ignorance can bring in the darkness. Living in darkness feeds the fear and anger. We look for other things to feed our fear and anger (social media, news/fake news, like minded people, etc.) However, if we are able to honestly look at our life, no one really wants to be fearful or angry. Or do they? Is the fear and anger comfortable for them? Does it make them powerful? I don’t know. I do know, it takes real work and often courage to embrace a difficult change. How on earth can one embrace change that they don’t like, didn’t ask for, or want? Read on for five tips to change and move from dark to light.
5 Tips for Love and Change
1. Acknowledge your emotions around the change.
- Find a nice safe quiet place to really just allow those feelings to come.
- How do you really feel? Allow all of your feelings to flow.
- No judgment – just notice and allow.
- If you are inclined - Journal/ paint/ sing/ dance/play music to really explore all those feelings.
- Whatever can help you allow your emotions to flow out of your head and heart.
2. What have you lost from this change?
- Change = Loss (see my Blog for details)
- Take a moment to write down your losses.
3. Mourn those losses.
- Take time to mourn them. (See my Blog on mourning losses for details)
- Have a good pity party, rant, rave, cry – in a healthy safe manner
- Take the time needed and then move to step 4.
4. Accepting the reality of the change.
- What is true about this change?
- What is true for you and this change?
- What can you begin to accept about this change?
- Where is love in this change?
5. Turn to the light - God/Allah/Spirit (whatever your faith)
- Earnestly seek the light and truth
- Feel the love of God/Spirit/Allah
- Turn to your spiritual practices for peace and solace.
Can you find some light and love in these times of change? Even if it’s a dim glow, seek the light and love and allow it to grow into a brilliant radiance. Remember the words of Dr. King, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Let’s all begin to move from the darkness and fear into the light and faith. Let your light shine!
Looking for support to make a change? Life looking dark and fearful for you or someone you know? I’ve included some change and love resources below. I’d love to be of support. I partner with those who desire building resiliency through change and are ready to make positive changes. Together we work to move forward to live boldly and fulfilled. Let’s get your light shining in the darkness!
Check out my website or email me to learn more. Let’s connect. If you want more resiliency, change, loss, and life tips register for my newsletter – to the right of this blog.
Peace, Love, & Blessings,
Teresa Bitner, PMP, M. Ed., ACC
PS. I have a few openings in my Now What?® coaching program. Ready to change: career, life changed and you didn’t, stuck or fearful? Let’s develop a strategy and design a plan to accomplish your new direction. Click here to learn more.
Change & Love Resources
5 Tips for Surviving Change and Building Resiliency
Managing and Surviving Change
Healthy Boundaries Equals Healthy Relationships
5 Love Languages
Teresa’s Free Resources